the_7th_guest

Well, for those of you that don't know or haven't heard, I have been in another car accident. I broke my foot, and am still on Unemployment. More than likely I will be filing for Social Security and taking an early retirement. Maybe one of these days I will actually be well enough to work. Both myself and my doctor would like to see that happen, but more than likely it won't happen anytime soon, which disappoints me. Lately I have been spending a lot of time with my friend and next-door neighbor, and I think if I didn't have her, I don't know what I would do. At times I feel as if I am all alone in this world, as I only have a few friends that I hear from at times, and my family is all busy. But regardless, I am trying to stay as positive as possible, and focus on getting all the clutter out of my apartment. I will more than likely need back surgery, so wish me luck!

And moving oh so slowly here at work. It's running like syrup. And this place is like a ghost town with a lot of people out today. I wish I could have taken the day off, but I have tomorrow and Friday off paid, so I can't complain. It just seems the day is passing by so slowly and I know it's just because I would rather not be here and there's not a whole lot to do today because of how slow and quiet it is today.

So what is everyone planning on doing for Thanksgiving? I am going to my cousin's house in El Dorado Hills for the first Thanksgiving at her house since she moved back down to this area from Crescent City. I don't get to have my son this year because I had him last year, but I get to hang out with family, so I am happy about that. Let's just hope that my mom doesn't get drunk and make an ass out of herself. That's basically the only family problem I can see happening. Other than that, it will be a day of just relaxing and hanging out and having fun. Pretty low-key I hope. Not too much pressure. I don't know what I plan on doing for Friday. Probably just hanging out at home and relaxing. Taking a much deserved day off and maybe getting some cleaning done.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

So I am sitting here at work folding boxes getting ready to send out approximately 70 boxes of See's candy to my advertisers that I deal with on a daily basis. It's a huge undertaking that takes me days, and this year things have changed. I used to be able to use FedEx boxes, and this year we switched to UPS, and I am using boxes that I have to fold, so that's a lot of extra work. Plus I printed out 70 or so company cards to go with the boxes of candy, then I get to log on to the UPS website and enter each address by hand, let alone get all the candy shipped next week. I think I am going to try and wrangle some help this year at least stuffing the candy into the boxes for shipping. We'll see. It's such a huge undertaking, but hey, it gives me something to do here at work.

I read that Michael Crichton died yesterday after a battle with cancer, and I really appreciated his stories. Jurrasic Park was one of his most notable stories turned into a Hollywood blockbuster, and there was also the Andromeda Strain, as well as the fact that he was also the creator of ER on television. He was 66 years old at the time of his death.
Man I hate it when good people like this die so early. I think he had so much more to tell. I also read that there was one more book waiting in the wings to be published soon, but because of his death, his publisher has pushed that back indefinitely. At least we will always have Jurrasic Park ;)

Well, heard from the boss. Here's a direct quote. I think she misunderstood what I was trying to say.

"Also, as we discussed last week, you should be minimizing any walking related to your job duties. I have specifically not asked you do any significant walking since your injury and want to just reiterate that you should be following doctor's orders and keep your waking to a minimum."

I let her and my HR Dept. know that I have been following my doctor's orders by not walking around excessively, and that I think just walking around period is bothering my toe. I mean it's broken, for Pete's sake! I just happens to be one of those times during the healing process where it hurts more right now than less, and that's what I said. I don't know how else to express the fact that I have been inter officing things so that I don't have to walk around excessively, and that I have been following my doctor's orders. What more can I say?

Well, still have the broken toe, and I think that all the walking around that I am doing is just exacerbating things. In fact, I am ready to leave work early and go to the worker's comp doctor to get a few days off of work so that I can finally give it the rest and attention that it needs. I have been working this whole time since it happened. The doctors all tell me that it's okay for me to do a 'sit down' job, but what they fail to realize is that I have to walk around quite a bit. I don't have a printer at my desk, so that requires me getting up and walking to a community printer, and I have to walk quite a distance to the elevators and up and down stairs to get to my car. No dice on being able to park on a level in the parking garage which has no stairs. That would require a DMV visit to get a temporary handicap placard, and that's not going to happen any time soon. And these fractures do take forever to heal, that's the sucky part. But I think a few days off to nurse my toe might do some good. It's bothering me more and more lately. And the fact that I accidentally bumped it against the side of my tub didn't help either. I think I just need to lay low for a few days and nurse it. Elevate it, and throw some ice on it as much as possible. No word from my boss yet when I told her that by email that I might be leaving early to do just that, and that I might be off of work for a few days. We'll see what she says. I don't like having a broken toe any more than she likes me having to take time off of work. It's just a sucky fact of life. Shit happens.

Well along with every other health problem I could have at the moment, I have now broken the big toe on my right foot. It's really stupid actually. I somehow managed to trip up the stairs at work going to my car in the garage for my lunch break, and while trying to catch myself, hit my right toes into the stairs pretty hard, hard enough to break my toe. It's a small fracture, but it sure hurt that first night. This was Monday. It's now Wednesday and I am feeling better. I went to the doctor yesterday morning, had the x-ray that confirmed the fracture, had my toe "buddy taped" to the next toe, given ice and they sent me on my way. I know there's nothing they can do for it other than to just let it be and let it eventually heal on it's own. I've broken both of my pinky toes before, but those never hurt as bad as breaking this big toe. Trust me, I am still laughing at myself for how it happened. So, that's what has been going on with me lately. And I still have to work, that's the sucky thing. It's not bad enough for me to stay home which sucks. A couple of days at home would have been nice for once.

I had so much fun at Garbeau's thanks to Unimom, and glad I got to finally meet her and her son ;) Saw Little Shop of Horrors and it was great.
Saturday got up and watched some of The Office, Season 4 and then it was off to my niece's 2nd birthday party over at my brother's for the day. It was nice hanging out with my family, and the sister-in-law's family for the day. Then it was off to a friend's house to watch Iron Man finally, which I really enjoyed.

Sunday I was woken up at 9:30 am by a neighbor who was banging on a car, being an amatur mechanic near my window. Watched some more of The Office and got up for the day. My best friend who also lives next door got married and there were so many preparations to do! So I spent the majority of the day helping her and some friends prepare for that. It turned out beautiful. I stood on her side and cried as the vows were being read. I had a great time, but man, by the time things finally wound down around 10:30 or so last night I was ready for bed. All in all it was a good weekend but busy ;)

Fun little quiz that I took ;) Why not? I'm at work with nothing better to do ;)

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I literally feel like I am in a bizarre episode of the Twilight Zone or something like that. I don't know why, other than the fact that I guess I am really tired, I have broken down and cried already once this morning, I feel like crap, probably from a number of factors. One being that I have had a rough morning at work, and just a weird week in general. My boss has been on vacation all week, which normally that's not a big deal, she works from home two days a week anyways, so I normally man the fort here anyways. So I don't think it's that, even though a co-worker mentioned it. I guess I just normally have control over my job, I have been doing it for over 6 years now and know how to do it pretty well, and found out this morning that there was an aspect of it that I might not have so much control over and it frustrates me. Part of me feels that they are going to want a full blown graphic designer in my position one of these days and I may be out of a job. Who knows. It's complicated.

I deal with coordinating ads for publications here at my company, and I had one advertiser that has sent 3 ads for three different publications about four times now and it drove me to the edge this morning. I don't expect everyone to understand, I just wanted to vent my frustrations, and I know this is the best place and most understandable place to do it ;)

On another note, I am a little aprehensive about driving out of state to Oregon tomorrow with my mom to pick up my older son. Not about the fact that I am going to get my son, which I am very exited about, but the fact that I have to spend a lot of drive time with my mom. As some of you know, my mother isn't the most pleasant person, and we don't really get along, and it's probably not going to be the most pleasant of all trips. I have had to do it before, and it's NOT the most pleasant. I am really exited to see my son, but I am not exited about driving in a car with her. It's hard enough in the first place to take long trips with people, but it's even harder to take them with people that you don't necessarily get along with. Don't get me wrong, I love her, she's my mom, I just don't necessarily like the way she acts towards me or gets along with me. We really don't get along. I guess that has added to my breakdown this morning. The fact that I have to try to get to bed at 8pm tonight and wake up at 4 in the morning doesn't help either. That's going to bed three hours earlier than normal, and getting up two hours earlier than normal. Not fun in my book.

Well, one good thing is that it's Friday and that's always a good thing. And i only have to work until 4pm. That's always a very good thing. I am going to take lunch and get the hell out of this Twilight Zone office for a while. If only it could be like the Mad Men office I would be happy.

I remember writing a post a month or two ago about how funny life is regarding when you loose one friend you gain another. Well, it's happened again. The one friend that I lost has suddenly decided that he wants to be friends again (or maybe more, I don't know), while I have lost another that came around when the other one decided that he didn't want to be friends. Things are just weird that way. I opened my MySpace email last night to find an email appology from this person who said that he basically had his problems and was afraid that I was going to hurt him emotionally in some way, and the funny thing is that he's the one who ended up hurting me by suddenly cutting off our friendship. I just don't know what to think. At the very least I can listen to what he has to say, because at this point he's leaving it up to me and I know that is all he's asking for at this point, and for the most part, that is all I am willing to give him. I will listen to what he has to say because he says that he's ready to open up and tell me what has been going on with him and why things were left the way they were. I guess it's more curiosity at this point than anything else. That and we were really good and close friends, and I still care about this person. Just because a couple of months have gone by doesn't mean that I haven't thought about him or wondered how he's been doing. And aparently he spent some time in the hospital and has been having weekly therapy sessions. So maybe they have helped, maybe they haven't, I don't know. I guess I won't know until I hear what he has to say. So here's to old friends and making new ones.

I went to the doctor again this morning because I have literally for the past couple of weeks been trying to not fall asleep at work and on the drive home. I have a feeling that it may have been my recent increase in pain meds, coupled with my muscle relaxers that I take, but wanted to make sure that I am not anemic or anything like that. I had my suspicions confirmed for the most part by the doctor, but I still had blood work taken just in case, and I have also been ordered to take a sleep study test to make sure that I don't have sleep apnea. I am pretty sure that I have that, because I was supposed to have gone and done that a couple of years ago and didn't, and I am also a snorer aparently. My father also had it and had to use a machine at night to help him breathe. I guess it runs in families. It just sucks that I won't be able to talk to him about it since he isn't around.
This is just another thing in the ongoing car accident saga lasting these past 3 years. I am just trying to remain positive ;)

I feel so bad for my youngest son because he fell on his bike today and chipped his front tooth and busted his lip pretty bad. He's okay, but pretty banged up. The dentist is hoping that his tooth isn't cracked because if it is, they will have to pull it and replace it with a bridge or implant. He's too young, darn it, but he's a boy, and boys will be boys.

On other news, I have reconnected with an old boyfriend from highschool and we have been talking nearly every day. It's so nice to catch up with someone who was once so important to me. Today I scanned and emailed him pictures of him and I from back then, and boy have things changed. It just sucks that he lives so far away. He's on the East coast and I am here in California. I just wish that I could see him again face to face and catch up, but for now we are texting, talking and emailing which for not having spoken to him since I was 19 is pretty good. I just decided to try and find him on MySpace not knowing whether or not I would find him and I did. It's been great catching up on things and reminiscing about the past. This kind of ties in with my last post in which I spoke about people coming and going in and out of our lives. I am just so happy that I have the opportunity to reconnect with him again.

So it sucks how some people just come in and out of your life, and some that you think are the most important really are not in the scheme of things, and some that may not seem as important to you really are probably the best thing for you. I have had many people whom I have called friends come and go, and it's just a fact of life. It's painful when it happens for me in most cases if not all cases because sometimes I feel like things are out of my control, but then as time goes by I realize that it's for the best. That those people really weren't good for me in the long run. It's hard to miss people and sometimes people come back and sometimes they don't. Sometimes you just have to cut all ties and sometimes there's always that little opening where you leave things off to where there's always that chance where they may come back someday. It's then where you have to figure out if it is worth the pain and aggravation, whether or not things will be the same or if things will have changed. I recently broke such a tie with a friend that I had known for over a year. I had feelings for this person that they didn't have for me and I tried to stay friends and it just wasn't going to happen. There were other circumstances involved as well, but in my heart of hearts I knew that it just wasn't going to work out and that I would just have to break all ties to this person eventually. I had even tried, but there was that little opening that allowed me to stay in that person's life and for a while it was okay. But I knew that eventually I just couldn't handle things the way they were and things would eventually take the course they did. This time it was mostly their decision, and I think when that happens it makes me feel worse because then it feels like it is out of my hands and that makes it hurt more somehow. I miss this person everyday, and it's very hard not to pick up the phone and call them or email them and talk about every day mundane things that we used to talk about and share with each other.
What's funny, is that just around the same time I was ending one such friendship, an old friend resurfaced who I haven't heard from in a little over a year and have missed a lot, and we are talking again. Like I said, people come and people go. I guess it's ultimately the decisions we make that shape how things turn out within our relationships.

I'm going back to work tomorrow for the first time in two months and am a bit nervous. Not because I don't know what I will be doing, but because I know it will take a bit to get back into the swing of things, and according to them, I supposedly violated a couple of company rules that I must own up to when I come back. I am waiting to find out exactly what those are. I have the feeling they are trying to come up with something to get rid of me so they can't fire me over my medical issues that have been plaguing me for the last 3 years since my car accident. As of lately I have had shots in my back, have been put on a higher dose of pain meds, as well as an anti seisure drug that is supposed to help with muscle and nerve pain, and am working with a TENS machine which sends electrical impulses into my muscles. Hopefully the combination of these things will help. I am crossing my fingers. Wish me luck!

Some people are just so stupid that they think that hiting animals on a dare is funny. Take into account this story. A man went into a restricted area in the Six Flags in Vallejo here in California and punched a baby camel on a dare. Apparently he has been arrested and will be facing animal cruelty charges. http://cbs13.com/local/vallejo.camel.punching.2.716615.html

What is wrong with people??!!

What do you know, I move back into my old apartment and completely forgot about live journal. I had a lot of catching up to do today. I did get a super new touch screen computer to catch up on everything though. Not much has happened lately-I have been off of work for about a month on medical leave (been getting shots in my back, and let me tell you how fun that is), and I did manage to get the tatoos that I have been wanting to get for months now finally. Other than that, I am going through a bout of depression and it's not fun. I keep thinking I am going to end up being a lonely old woman (minus the cats) as I can't seem to pick the right people to give my love to. I feel like my life is just wasting away and I am destined to be alone forever.

So there's a rumor going around that Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has about 5 months to live. At this point it's just rumor/conjecture, but I did hear about it on my favorite morning show this morning. If it is true it is sad-I liked him in some of his movies, most notably Dirty Dancing, Red Dawn, Roadhouse and Ghost.

In other news I just went yesterday and signed the paperwork to move back into my old apartment. The very same one that I had moved from a little over a year ago. I can't wait, but not looking forward to the packing. But I have at least had a couple of offers to help (thanks!) and will be fine. This will give me the opportunity to get rid of some things. I just have too much stuff as usual and have added more lately. It's mostly books and movies, but there are a lot of other things as well that I need to weed through. I am just exited about moving back into a bigger place, and it is different from where I am now, no washer and dryer or balcony, but I have a neighbor who has a small set in her kitchen that is willing to let me use them whenever I need to. I am pretty good friends with her so we are both exited that I am moving back. It's just a better place overall. There's no having to pay for sewer, water and garbage, let alone parking. I will have my own spot free of charge, and the place is downstairs which will be so much easier on me physically ;)

I am also probably going to take about a month leave of absence from work. I had a steroid/cortisone shot in my back last week and it has made my back hurt worse. Besides that will give me plenty of time to pack and move in the meantime. I am just waiting to see how much medical leave I have left at work, get a temp in here and train them so that I can rest up as much as I can. It sucks that it's come to this, but at this point I really don't see any other alternative especially since I can't manage to really work a full day since I got the shot. Yesterday was my first full day I managed to work since last Wednesday, and that was only because I am pumping myself so full of pain pills and muscle relaxers that I am so doped up and trying to function the best I can, and that's not fair to me or my employers. So, hence the reason that I came to the conclusion that I need some time off to heal. I just wish I knew how things were going to work out.....

I definitely couldn't resist this quiz. Love me some zombies ;)